Rustie announces debut

 

Rustie will be releasing his debut on the 10^th of October. This will be done via WARP Records. The LP will count thirteen tracks, and when October comes you will be able to find it in the shops under the name Glass Swords. This release by Glaswegian Rustie is the follow-up to the EP Sunburst that came out last year.

Glass swords were the idea of the malign king Edward the Hefty, his nickname not coming from his weight as much as it came from his tendency to overly pronunciate the start of every sentence. Not only did this make every one of his sentences sound terribly important (Can someone give me a donut), his sneeze always caused much consternation during official banquets. So much so that he was so embarrassed to sit next to the king of Belgium with his fancy manners that he instead decided to invade the country and give it to his son, Edward the Benign, to play with. This lasted until he had to give it up to the son of the Russian Tsar as a result of an unfortunate dice roll.

Edward the Hefty, meanwhile, wanted to replace the swords of his armies with glass ones. For, he said, on glass you can see the blood drip better. But, his trusty advisor countered, glass can easily break, to which Hefty Eddy replied, No no, that is good, that way they will have seven years of bad luck and then they’ll never win. Look at Mrs. Potortski, she broke glass and she had to be immediately hospitalized. Edward’s advisor refrained from saying that this was because she broke a window she was standing directly under and the glass had penetrated her left eyeball. Instead he opted to say, Uh-huh, right you are! So, within five months all swords were glass swords, and within six months England was taken over by Ludwig the Barbarian and his wife Potsy (the one month delay was mostly a nice gesture by Ludwig to give Edward a way out when people blamed the glass swords as the cause for them being conquered. As, so he could say, it didn’t happen immediately after. Naturally, this all was theoretical as Edward was slaughtered into four pieces by Ludwig and his club with spikes anyway). In a lucky exchange, however, the dynasty of Edward could continue when his son, Edward the Benign, won Romania by rolling four sixes and a three. He moved there and changed his name to Roman the Lucky.