In a recent educational report in the Catholic Journal We Know He is there But What Is His Role Exactly (and why wasn’t the dishwasher invented sooner?) professor L.P. Salnicky took a look at angels. More specifically, Salnicky looked at what makes angels the way they are. How come their halo’s always shine so brightly, how come they are impeccably dressed in white, and how come they are always well-mannered and know what to do in every situation. For angels, the report states, have the tendency to always be able to advise that what is morally right. This is so, the report concludes, because their lives all start with a Spartan upbringing and is helped by some strong parenting. In the study he puts forward several examples.
In one of these examples, a little boy angel came up to Larry Mirkowitz, who was in a bit of a pickle because he had double-booked his agenda, and he felt morally obligated to go to both occassions. The angel said, Larry, this is a dire situation. The best way to get out of this without feeling guilty is if one thing some way, somehow, gets rescheduled. So, here is what I propose. If you hit Mrs. Portudy with 80 mph then her retirement party has to be postponed and then the double booking is gone! When his custodian heard about the advice the boy angel had given he pulled him aside, said You have been a terrible Angel you naughty little boy, and as punishment he had to make sure no one would be plucking and eating any apples from Mr. Nede’s back garden for fourteen years. B-b-but I only gave advice, he did it!, the boy replied, to which his custodian responded, Yes, and that has also been taken care of, for we’ve made sure the funeral of Mrs. Portudy is on the exact same date as her retirement party would’ve been. Also, it’s easier, all her friends had kept that evening free anyway, and if you cancel the caterer this late you would still have to pay.
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